Imagine, if you will, the heady early days of the 2000s. The Millennium had come and gone, and things were looking bright. Warp Brothers’ hit Phatt Bass was doing the rounds in the clubs, and for an altogether different demographic, Big Mouth Billy Bass was taking the world by storm.

The bass (fish)/bass (music) pun writes itself. My friends and I were joking that this should happen back when we were still in school, so I’m not sure why it’s taken over 20 years to get to where we are today.

But this is where we are today. Please welcome, and accept my sincerest apologies for, Big Mouth Phatt Bass:

Liner Notes

(aka, the development process:)

• Track 1: Gutting the Fish
• Track 2: Disco Lights
• Track 3: Flapping Wildly
• Track 4: Bringing the Noise
• Track 5: Hitting the Decks
• Track 6: Lip-syncing
• Track 7: Power Chords
• Track 8: The Final Countdown
• Track 9: Getting the Fish back Together
• Track 10: Danger! Low Voltage!
• Track 11: Getting the Fish back Together (PCB Remix)

Back-stage

Here’s what’s inside the Phatt Bass. The stock PCB has been replaced by a custom one, hosting an ESP32 microcontroller, TB6612 motor driver, and MP3-TF-16P audio player.

If you don’t want to follow the write-up of the whole development process (with its several component swaps and redesigns) just to find the important bits, here they are:

Bill of Materials | PCB Gerber Files | ESP32 Source Code | SD Card Files

Encores

Meghan Trainor — All About That Bass

System of a Down — Chop Suey

Rage Against the Machine — Killing in the Name (just the swearing)

Nirvana — Smells Like Teen Spirit

Metallica — Enter Sandman (plz don’t sue me Lars)

Mr Scruff — Fish

Shoutouts

Massive respect to the Billy Bass Hacking Posse!

• Donald Bell!
• James Bulpin!
• Ben Eagan!
• Kevin McAleer!
• Brian Kane!
• Jeff… *checks notes* Jeff Bezos??