Once upon a time, there was a FILM in which DOGS inexplicably had HUMAN PROBLEMS and SAVED THE DAY with some PREPOSTEROUS KIDDY BULLSHIT.
Fast forward three years.
Now, there is a FILM in which DOGS inexplicably have HUMAN PROBLEMS and SAVE THE DAY with some PREPOSTEROUS KIDDY BULLSHIT. WALT DISNEY continues ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE filled with HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILLS.
By the Numbers
- Chihuahuas: 7
- Number of times I tried to write “Chihuahua” before spelling it right: 4
- Pronunciations of the word “Mexico”: at least 3
- Mexican characters that speak English all the time except for the list of about 20 Spanish words that most American kids probably know: ALL OF THEM
- Dogs with nationalities, like that makes any sense: 11
- Dog marriages, like that’s a thing: 1
- Human marriages caused by dogs: fucking Disney, man
- Humans bukkaked: somehow, 2
- Preposterous bullshit, in minutes: 93
Overall: 1 / 5
It’s almost as if I’m not the target audience for this film, or something.