Synopsis

A BUNCH OF LOSERS reluctantly team up to SAVE THE GALAXY from a SMURF with a MALLET.

You can just tell that ALL WILL GO WELL because the most sensible one among them is a HEAVILY ARMED, SARCASTIC WOODLAND CREATURE.

By the Numbers

• Ronan the Accuser: 1
• Ronan Keating: 0
• Drax the Destroyer: 1
• Richard Drax, MP: 0
• Green Zoe Saldana: present
• Shiny purple Macguffins: 1
• Humble farmboys with secret ultimate cosmic power: Maybe?
• A-holes: 5
• Dicks: <100%
• Space starfish: over 9000
• Times the scene is won by 70s disco music: 3
• Times the galaxy is nearly doomed by 70s disco music: 1
• I am: Groot.

Overall: 4 / 5