Synopsis

KID meets WOMAN. WOMAN is cold-hearted and bitchy. KID fucks WOMAN. WOMAN is cold-hearted and bitchy. KID reads to WOMAN. WOMAN shows EMOTION. KID’s LIFE is fucked up by WOMAN. WOMAN disappears.

MEANWHILE, in the FUTURE, KID is RALPH FIENNES and WOMAN was a NAZI. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

Also, KATE WINSLET’S NIPPLES are huge.

By the Numbers

• Tits: 2
• Guns: 0
• Car Chases: 0
• Swordfights: 0
• Wizards: 0
• Explosions: 0
• Holocausts: 1
• Therefore, Oscars: 1
• Angst: Over one million (I think it goes Super Saiyan about half an hour from the end)

Overall: 4.5 / 5

Not quite too depressing to review – hi, Benjamin Button – but oh god, gibber, the angst. Angry Germans, sex, angry Germans, angry sex– A WILD HOLOCAUST APPEARED! YOU WILL CRY NOW kthxbai.